So… Life Goes On

Well, after being led on for over a month, on Saturday we found out that D. does not have a job at this new company. To say it was a shock to the system is putting it mildly. I read the hiring manager’s emails. It didn’t sound like a maybe it definitely sounded like a sure freaking thing. (And people wonder why I have so little faith in humanity.)

Saturday was hard. Really hard. To make things worse it was my husband’s birthday. This all happened while I was at work, and luckily I was able to keep it together and keep it professional. I even managed to go shopping and a get a birthday cake afterwards. But Saturday night I lost it. Like, I totally lost my shit. I was sad. I was angry. I cried, I screamed, and I certainly had a little too much to drink which certainly did not help. It wasn’t pretty, but I allowed myself that day to get it all out.

Easter Sunday we went to my MIL’s. I was not sure how she was going to deal with all this (knowing he had already given his notice, based on conversations with this new company). Thankfully, it was a lot better than I expected. The whole day was actually very low-key, which helped in a way. D’s aunt has Alzheimer’s and is quickly degrading. He set up her LifeAlert, the kids did an egg hunt in the backyard, we had a nice lunch. It was actually pretty nice.

So here we are. Starting from scratch. Despite what our wonderful (insert eyeroll here) government might lead you to believe, jobs are not exactly plentiful, and the ones out there certainly do not pay that well, so we just have to be optimistic and tenacious, and use all the resources we have at our hands.

I wasn’t even going to write this, but… it’s part of my story. I suppose some people may wonder why I’m not furious that he made this rash decision before there was a sure thing. And truthfully, I had a conversation with him shortly after and was very honest about my feelings. But now? It’s not like you can go back, you know? What’s done is done. Making him feel worse isn’t going to make the situation better.

I’ll just keep on doing my part. I am thankful that I work. I am thankful that we have savings and have continued to live frugally. I will continue to pare down where we can. And we will make it work. And who knows… maybe in the end we will end up better than before.

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