Month: April 2019

Well, after being led on for over a month, on Saturday we found out that D. does not have a job at this new company. To say it was a shock to the system is putting it mildly. I read the hiring manager’s emails. It didn’t sound like a maybe it definitely sounded like a sure freaking thing. (And people wonder why I have so little faith in humanity.)

Saturday was hard. Really hard. To make things worse it was my husband’s birthday. This all happened while I was at work, and luckily I was able to keep it together and keep it professional. I even managed to go shopping and a get a birthday cake afterwards. But Saturday night I lost it. Like, I totally lost my shit. I was sad. I was angry. I cried, I screamed, and I certainly had a little too much to drink which certainly did not help. It wasn’t pretty, but I allowed myself that day to get it all out.

Easter Sunday we went to my MIL’s. I was not sure how she was going to deal with all this (knowing he had already given his notice, based on conversations with this new company). Thankfully, it was a lot better than I expected. The whole day was actually very low-key, which helped in a way. D’s aunt has Alzheimer’s and is quickly degrading. He set up her LifeAlert, the kids did an egg hunt in the backyard, we had a nice lunch. It was actually pretty nice.

So here we are. Starting from scratch. Despite what our wonderful (insert eyeroll here) government might lead you to believe, jobs are not exactly plentiful, and the ones out there certainly do not pay that well, so we just have to be optimistic and tenacious, and use all the resources we have at our hands.

I wasn’t even going to write this, but… it’s part of my story. I suppose some people may wonder why I’m not furious that he made this rash decision before there was a sure thing. And truthfully, I had a conversation with him shortly after and was very honest about my feelings. But now? It’s not like you can go back, you know? What’s done is done. Making him feel worse isn’t going to make the situation better.

I’ll just keep on doing my part. I am thankful that I work. I am thankful that we have savings and have continued to live frugally. I will continue to pare down where we can. And we will make it work. And who knows… maybe in the end we will end up better than before.

Well, it’s been a while hasn’t it? Truthfully, I haven’t been blogging because it has been sort of a stressful month around here, and I hope it improves soon, but right now I am just trying to keep it all together. My husband has been interviewing for a new job and it’s been a long process. He was told they are putting together an offer (exciting, yes), but the process is really dragging and now I am getting panicky because it is taking so long.

Monday the hiring manager did speak with one of his references and the conversation was incredibly positive and encouraging. So I am trying to focus on that and the fact that she is hiring for a couple other positions as well. But he already put in notice at his current job (I know, I know…), so… yeah. And I guess I just felt it was time to write it all out because I don’t know what else to do.

If it comes through (and there’s no real reason it shouldn’t), it will be an amazing opportunity for him. So if you’re so inclined to say a prayer that this works out, I would sincerely appreciate it.

Other than that, things have been rolling along. Work has been busy in a good way and I recently got a new title (Assistant Library Director and Head of Programming) that fits everything I do a little better. I am happy about that. The kids are all good. Sunday we went to a SUNY college fair so Jake could check out a couple schools. It was at SUNY Albany, so it was kind of fun to go somewhere different.

Honestly, it is hard to believe we are at this stage of life — looking at colleges for our oldest. It feels like my own college days weren’t that long ago! Right now he is listing Psychology as a probable major and mostly looking at schools here in New York at the moment. The next several months will be interesting, that’s for sure!

Spring seems to be taking its sweet time reaching us. The sun is out and it’s sort of warm today. I was at least able to open up the windows and get some fresh air in for a little while. But it’s windy and not as warm as I’d like it to be. (Probably reflective of my mood.)